game of thrones rules

having spent most of my winter break with my thumb up my ass and my dick in my hand, I am glad to report that game of thrones is, in fact, the shit. now, gordon geckos (thats what I call my fans, its lame) know the only I thing I love more than tv is busty broads in tiny clothes, but tv might top them even, mainly because tv HAS busty broads in tiny clothes on it, and its in HD!

seriously though, back to game of thrones. do you like your tv served with a side of kickass and topped off with pure, unfiltered guitar solos? than game of thrones is for you. heres a quick rundown of season 1s most ballar moments

dwarven man has sex with 3 women.


 a horse gets decapitated, here, I'll show you!

a guy gets stabbed through the eye.


a girl eats a horse heart.raw.

a bitchy 13 year old boy gets smacked in the mouth by a midget.twice.

a guy gets killed by molten gold being poured on his head. SO FUCKING METAL YOU GUYS check it

twincest. lotsa twinsect

a man dies by getting owned, then falls  a few hundred feet down a hole.

an italian man kicks the shit out of armed guards with a wooden sword.

a fat guy gets smacked around by swords.

a eunuch who looks like a full grown baby being a puppet master like a boss.

the most unlikable doucheliscious tv character in many moons in joffery baratheon. kids a straight ANUS.

a guy pulls his best friends tongue out through his throat, then does one of the best come at me bros of all.time. check it

a guy gets stabbed int he neck,t hen GUSHES BLOOD HOLY SHIT

a midget brains a dude with a shield

and so much more badass stuff that your mindhole might not be able to take it. but besides all this ballar-osity going down, there is plenty of good artsy fartsy stuff. the characters are extremely well written and acted, for one. theres more balls in Game of thrones than on all of CBS combined, no one is safe, no character is too liked to die, no story is out of bounds. Listen, I loev tv, I love violence, and I love tits. Game of thrones has all 3 in spades. if you can, watch season 1 ASAP. we've got less than 2 months till season 2 on HBO, and i for one cannot.fucking.WAIT. sunday nights with mad men AND game of thrones? My dick is hard enough to go diamond mining with. I could cut wolverines bones with my nipples I am so fucking pumped. Don Draper and Tyrion Lannister? Roger Sterling and Robb Stark? Peggy olson and Danaerys targaryen? I am fucking excited, you guys. if you're not? well fuck off, Imma be rocking a trimester of an erection for the duration of this shit.