Just a quickie (Warning! this isn't your typical silly post)

Disclaimer:

I know all 6 of you usually come for the laughs and stay for the explosions, but this is not that day, this is a serious goddamn post, so stick around

today is november 11th, veterans day. Normally I don't post this sort of "oh sappy holiday" bull, but veterans day is special, its unique. It is a truly american holiday, where we celebrate the truly important americans, not our congressmen, not our senators, not our presidents, not our supreme court justices, not our politicans, our writers, our demonstrators, No. Today is about soldiers, the people who have fought and died for us. They died for my right to write about dipshit parents and make jokes, they died so you can read this, they died so we could all live in a better, freer place, a place were Nicole ritchie is famous and good charlotte is liked, but a place were we have truly great people too, all of which would be for naught without our soldiers. so to any vets or current soldiers reading this, may God be with you today and every day, and I leave you with a comment I found on Kissing suzy kolber, one of the best blogs on earth, about today.

WHAT IS A VET

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar,a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence inside them: a pinholding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg – or perhaps another sortof inner steel: the soul’s ally forged in the refinery of adversity. Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can’t tell a vet just by looking.

what is a vet?

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallonsa day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn’t run out of fuel

He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hoursof exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.

She or he—is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing everynight for two solid years in Da Nang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another—or didn’t come back AT ALL.

He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat—but has savedcountless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members intoMarines, and teaching them to watch each other’s backs.

He is the parade—riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with aprosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence atthe Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all theanonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean’s sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket—palsied now andaggravatingly slow—who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all daylong that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being—a person who offered some of his life’s most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificedhis ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothingmore than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nationever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That’s all most people need, and in most cases it will meanmore than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.

Two little words that mean a lot, “THANK YOU.”

Lastly, a quote

“It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. Itis the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is thesoldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.”

Father Dennis Edward O’Brien, USMC

(no credit goes to me for any of the above except the parts I wrote credit to orton hears an oot in the KSK comments secrtion for getting it from footballguys.com)

thank you, and god bless

Underrated shit in life

too often in life, things are underrated, one of my best friends once said "the three most underrated things in the world are cereal, sitting and flat ground" 2 outta 3 aint' bad (cereal's aiight at best), so Naturally kev, I have to top your ass.

ready bitches?

thing 1: good water fountains

lets paint this picture, your jogging through the park on a mildly hot day, lets say its 85 degrees fahrenheit (the only REAL system of tempreture, I'm looking at you, centigrade), decent humidity, and your sweating your balls off, which is odd, since your nuts are stuck to your taint by now, you forgot your water bottle at home, you are fucking dying of thirst like your a starving african boy, and then! salvation! a water fountain! tall glorious, covered in stone, its like the things dick but instead of clobbering times, it dispenses water! oh water! you run, hit that button and BANG! its warm, disgusting, its like your at R. Kellys house and your a 15 year old girl, its that uncomfortable warm where it tastes vaguely like piss and it is hardly refreshing.

go on, replace that with anything, a walk in school and you hit that warm fountain, it is disgusting and awful. worse yet is when the fountain is at a drinkable tempreture, but it shoots so damn low its like drinking from a goddamn stream, plus now theres a possibility you got chlymidia, and that will make you a real drag to hang out with, no one likes STDs anymore than they like Jon Gosselin or Kids Named Jackson, my god, now my blood is boiling. so what defines a good water fountain then? well, it has to shoot high, high enough I can bend down to drink it at a reasonable spot. It has to be cold, I like my water fountains roughly. 3 degrees above freezing, I drink them for fucking HOURS and am happy, holy shit, do I love that feeling, the feeling of ice cold pain on your teeth, it burns so good and I am refreshed as shit afterwards, oh, theres my erection popping up again, oh, there goes the roof as a result.

anyway, point I'm trying to make is you never appreciate that good cold water fountains, NEVER, Even I take these holy sacraments for granted.

Thing 2: Peace and goddamn quiet

who doesn't like peace and motherfucking quiet? terrorists, thats who. There are many benefits of being at community college (kickass water fountains and hot domb girls are at the top) but the big downside? Lotsa dumb people. I mean A LOT of dumb people. I mean more dumb people than at your average sorority/fraternity mixer. I am talking a whole shitload of dumb people. now I don't mind dumb people, some of my best friends (read: My brother) are dumb people. I just realized that dumb people lined up at the end of the last three lines. isn't that weird? fuckin look at that, thats gotta be a secret message, I'll send this post to dan brown so he can da vinci code that shit and I can make millions, no BILLIONS! then I shall be rich! Ha! Ha!

were the hell was I? oh right, dumb people

anyway, lots of dumb people can succeed (President Bush, Rush Limbaugh, Hilary clinton, the entire cast of twilight) but nothing, NOTHING irks me like loud motherfuckers. were I spend a majority of my time at school, the library, has recently been taken over by loud people. its a library motherfuckers, not a chatatorium, my god, do these People anger me, hogging all the computers and seats and being general bags of shit. on their cell phones, yelling to each other across the room, its a wonder I have stopped talking/caring in school (kidding, I love school), but my god, when I get home nothing makes me happier than peace and fucking quiet, who likes working in loudass environments? no one, thats who. its fucking annoying to try and let your top flight humor flow when you can hear motherfuckers talking about how ghettoliscious they are, makes me want to fucking remove some eyeballs with a melon baller.

Thursdays

people will tell you friday is the best day of the week, or saturday. these people couldn't be more wrong, thursday is the goddamn best day of the week, and its not close. Want Proof? first, friday is a throwaway day in your work or school week, no one cares on friday. second, decent people go out on thursday nights, nothing but dipshits go out on fridays and chill, brah. or slutty dirty people like the olson twins or your Mom. thirdly, football is played on thursday, both good pro and good college, is football played on friday, gay high school football excepted? I do believe a no has to be checked in that box, don't you friend? Is the best TV of the goddamn week on fridays? the only thing on fridays Is Degrassi, and thats been going downhill since they stabbed JT and let him die in a puddle of another mans pee. Is the best TV on thursdays? fuck and yes it is. Community, The Office, 30 Rock, Always sunny and the league? fuck to the yiz-es, it is. I believe without a doubt thursday is the best day of the week, it has everything lofty days should have, opportunities to drink, kickass tv and football is all you need to have a good fucking day.

and now, a kwanzaa gecko special announcement!

Happy thanksgiving, I just fooled you into thinking i had something important to say, and welcome back to all my homies from summer, god damn I missed you fuckers more than words or pubic hair currency can express, so yeah, welcome back