Australian people are awesome

anyone who knows me knows how weird this sentence must sound coming from Me, a shameless america lover, but holy shit, Australian people are crazy awesome, to go analogy, australia is like our younger, more apeshit brother. and here are some reasons why.

1. 100 percent of Australians are known to drink excessively

2. all austrailian women have great accents, 2nd only to the british accent

3. Australians play rugby, which is like football but filled with more rage, no one cares about the ball in rugby, they care about mauling you, thats amazing.

4. Australia is like america in that all the cool shit happens on the coast, and the middle is filled with shit no one cares about (big rocks and shit in australia, fat people here).

5. Australians hang out with Maori warriors, easily the most batshit people ever, case and point:

what a winner, maori people exclusively focus on bludgeoning and cutting shit, also they use shit like shark teeth as weapons, that means that they kill sharks, and judging by the looks of that dude, they kill them with their own bare hands, which is fucking.awesome.

6. Australia Produced AC/DC, one of the few bands to ever totally rock your tits clean off

7. Australians hunt crazy shit like kangaroos, wallabies, and the most fail animal on earth, the koala, no doubt do they eat koala burgers like we eat cow.

8. the average australian woman is super fine, Australian girls are part of the sexy trinity along with the brazillians and the russians, check these ladies out

'

all hot australian girls.

9. Australian People own knives that make a claymore feel inadequate, for a variety of purposes, throwin, stabbin, slashin, nazi killin, scalping, brush clearin, and many many more.

10. Like the US, australians are descended from people who hated england. Unlike us, who wanted religious freedom, Australian people were crazy prisoners, 100 percent of whose crimes were cool shit like excessive masculinity, break dancing in public, and absurd amount of faces ruined.

holy shit, does Australia rule, if i ever leave this great land, after I fuck every chick in brazil, I am going the fuck to Australia.

AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM KWANZAA GECKO INC LLC

I have decided that I am no longer able to blog, My skills have simply eroded to be as good as your average cockweasel joke. also, my capacity for hating has significantly declined, so from now on,expect nothing else but love, adoration and like to flow from Me.



























GOTCHA BITCH! APRIL FOOLS!





anyway, whose ready for a brand new kwanzaa gecko? I sure as shit am, and I AM the kwanzaa gecko.



so what we'll talk about today is an issue dividing this country greatly, something that has caused brother to fight brother and a house divided cannot stand.



thats right motherfuckers, we're talking Duke.



raise your hand if you like duke? you do? come here, come drink this hemloch so you may suffer painfully for being a classic douche.



Duke is, in a nutshell, the ultimate douche school. it douches such notable douche schools as ohio state (the athletic douche) all ivy league schools (the rich douche who you want run over) the womens college douche (the I hate all men and they are soulless monsters who ruin society douche). why does duke outdouche these people? they combine all the parts into one douche, a super douche monster like what happens when candy in your pocket melts into a puddle of amorphous candy blob shit, that your not sure what part of what candy your eating. in fact, thats My new name for duke, and i hope it spreada, candydouches. because they are gay, you see.

Dukies will claim that I hate duke solely because of their basketball team. oh that is simply not true. Do I loathe white dudes playing basketball (or any sport for that matter) where whitey is described as "gritty" a "hustler" a "scrappy" player? yes, and what is duke "gritty" "Scrappy" duke needs to be drugged and raped like a lacrosstitute...oh wait, too soon? duke and lacrosse combine two things I loathe more than anything, rich entitled white people going to a rich entitled white school, and Lacrosse, the official sport of rich entitled white people who I would severely enjoy kicking down a well and sealing that shit up.

Duke is a rich entitled dipshit school, do you know what duke does? buh! I don't either, besides jerk itself off.