Underrated shit in life

too often in life, things are underrated, one of my best friends once said "the three most underrated things in the world are cereal, sitting and flat ground" 2 outta 3 aint' bad (cereal's aiight at best), so Naturally kev, I have to top your ass.

ready bitches?

thing 1: good water fountains

lets paint this picture, your jogging through the park on a mildly hot day, lets say its 85 degrees fahrenheit (the only REAL system of tempreture, I'm looking at you, centigrade), decent humidity, and your sweating your balls off, which is odd, since your nuts are stuck to your taint by now, you forgot your water bottle at home, you are fucking dying of thirst like your a starving african boy, and then! salvation! a water fountain! tall glorious, covered in stone, its like the things dick but instead of clobbering times, it dispenses water! oh water! you run, hit that button and BANG! its warm, disgusting, its like your at R. Kellys house and your a 15 year old girl, its that uncomfortable warm where it tastes vaguely like piss and it is hardly refreshing.

go on, replace that with anything, a walk in school and you hit that warm fountain, it is disgusting and awful. worse yet is when the fountain is at a drinkable tempreture, but it shoots so damn low its like drinking from a goddamn stream, plus now theres a possibility you got chlymidia, and that will make you a real drag to hang out with, no one likes STDs anymore than they like Jon Gosselin or Kids Named Jackson, my god, now my blood is boiling. so what defines a good water fountain then? well, it has to shoot high, high enough I can bend down to drink it at a reasonable spot. It has to be cold, I like my water fountains roughly. 3 degrees above freezing, I drink them for fucking HOURS and am happy, holy shit, do I love that feeling, the feeling of ice cold pain on your teeth, it burns so good and I am refreshed as shit afterwards, oh, theres my erection popping up again, oh, there goes the roof as a result.

anyway, point I'm trying to make is you never appreciate that good cold water fountains, NEVER, Even I take these holy sacraments for granted.

Thing 2: Peace and goddamn quiet

who doesn't like peace and motherfucking quiet? terrorists, thats who. There are many benefits of being at community college (kickass water fountains and hot domb girls are at the top) but the big downside? Lotsa dumb people. I mean A LOT of dumb people. I mean more dumb people than at your average sorority/fraternity mixer. I am talking a whole shitload of dumb people. now I don't mind dumb people, some of my best friends (read: My brother) are dumb people. I just realized that dumb people lined up at the end of the last three lines. isn't that weird? fuckin look at that, thats gotta be a secret message, I'll send this post to dan brown so he can da vinci code that shit and I can make millions, no BILLIONS! then I shall be rich! Ha! Ha!

were the hell was I? oh right, dumb people

anyway, lots of dumb people can succeed (President Bush, Rush Limbaugh, Hilary clinton, the entire cast of twilight) but nothing, NOTHING irks me like loud motherfuckers. were I spend a majority of my time at school, the library, has recently been taken over by loud people. its a library motherfuckers, not a chatatorium, my god, do these People anger me, hogging all the computers and seats and being general bags of shit. on their cell phones, yelling to each other across the room, its a wonder I have stopped talking/caring in school (kidding, I love school), but my god, when I get home nothing makes me happier than peace and fucking quiet, who likes working in loudass environments? no one, thats who. its fucking annoying to try and let your top flight humor flow when you can hear motherfuckers talking about how ghettoliscious they are, makes me want to fucking remove some eyeballs with a melon baller.

Thursdays

people will tell you friday is the best day of the week, or saturday. these people couldn't be more wrong, thursday is the goddamn best day of the week, and its not close. Want Proof? first, friday is a throwaway day in your work or school week, no one cares on friday. second, decent people go out on thursday nights, nothing but dipshits go out on fridays and chill, brah. or slutty dirty people like the olson twins or your Mom. thirdly, football is played on thursday, both good pro and good college, is football played on friday, gay high school football excepted? I do believe a no has to be checked in that box, don't you friend? Is the best TV of the goddamn week on fridays? the only thing on fridays Is Degrassi, and thats been going downhill since they stabbed JT and let him die in a puddle of another mans pee. Is the best TV on thursdays? fuck and yes it is. Community, The Office, 30 Rock, Always sunny and the league? fuck to the yiz-es, it is. I believe without a doubt thursday is the best day of the week, it has everything lofty days should have, opportunities to drink, kickass tv and football is all you need to have a good fucking day.

and now, a kwanzaa gecko special announcement!

Happy thanksgiving, I just fooled you into thinking i had something important to say, and welcome back to all my homies from summer, god damn I missed you fuckers more than words or pubic hair currency can express, so yeah, welcome back