very few things make my blood boil like the sight of a vegan. whats a Vegan? a Vegans like a Vegitarian (who i have no problems with, I know lots of ballin vegitarians) but with a whole lotta self importance clogging his ass. a Vegan will not eat ANYTHING to do with animals, including milk, cheese, honey and the prized bulls urine of uzbekistan, on the basis that humans should not eat eat for ethical reasons. um, hello? we're omnivores, dawg. we eat FUCKING EVERYTHING, from Meat to veggies, and both are necessities for your diet to be healthy and well rounded. and if a vegan cares so much about the emotions and feelings of the animals they eat, why do not feel for the countless tiny animals killed by wheat threshers, seed drills, and other farming technology, after all, those are animals too, after all.
the point is 99 percent of vegans are hypocrites who believe, quite simply, man is designed to do something he simply isn't, live without meat. and besides, what is considered vegan delicacy? leaves? Eggplant? those are side dishes, have you ever bitten into good steak and not been like "this is fucking delicious, how do people give up meat?" I do all the time, meat is, for lack of a better word, the orgasm of foods. here, lets rate meat kids on a scale of 1 to 5
Beef: 10/5
you ever meet bad beef? no, you know why? no such thing. Beef is tasty any way,, any cut, any slice of beef you get, it 100 percent guaranteed to be fucking delicious, ground of not, fuck, you ever have a cheeseburger? motherfucker, I could eat 10 of those goddamn things like they were nothing. and beef also has the kings of meat on its side: the t-bone steak, porterhouse and filet fucking mignon, which are the only french words that don't mean surrender.
pork: 10000000/5:
Pork mainly goes this high because of two simple words: ba-con, thats right bitch, the king of food, period. Bacon, I'd use all of Jim Gaffigan bacon rant here, but that would be insulting, so I will simply quote a wise friend of mine " Bacon is the meat form of candy" Bacon is simply perfect, facon does not do it justice, nor do turkey or chicken bacon, but shit, bacons like Gemma atkinson humping scarlett Johannson while Queens of the stone age plays in the background, all set to an american flag background and with at least 30 explosions, and then multiply by over 9000, your good. also, pork has sweet and sour pork, and tasty tasty pork roll aka taylor ham, which is dandy for breakfest.
chicken: 4/5
chicken is solid, if unspectacular, its a safe bet at resturants, makes such decadent treats as fried chicken, general tso's chicken and buffalo chicken. on the downside, chicken can be messed up, not like beef or pork, chicken divan is a prime example of this, broccoli and a strange sauce? no thanks hank, on the other hand, when done right, suck as chicken parmesean, chicken teriyaki and chicken fajitas, chicken rivals beef and pork for sheer amazingness, but when failed, chicken is bro levels of fail, because how can you ruin something so damned delicious and perfect and wonderful?
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