Gecko: two straight posts on why certain people outawesome americans? are you on coke? no gentle reader, I am not, feeling international though, and besides, our subject today is easily the coolest guy alive.Lets say I need a guy to hang out with. what do I want in him? well, tall is good, tall people are cool. I want him to be obscenely rich, like, serious fuck you money. I want an international man of mystery with good taste, always important, plus it adds a much needed badass.
Mikhail Prokhorov or as I'll be calling him, Micky P, is easily the coolest dude in the world.
why is this?
1. He got arrested...for having hot girls hang around him and being suspected they were prostitutes he flew in from russia to france. he responded by insulting all french people and fucking the prime ministers foxy wife.
2.His 3 biggest loves are business sports and food. IE: manliness, manliness and eating. He is not married because he hasn't, in his own words "found a woman who isn't a good enough cook to him" Micky P knows where his shit is AT.
3. Micky P is buying the new jersey nets and will lure Lebron here and then to brooklyn.
4. Micky P is 6'8 and has youtube videos of himself DOING JETSKI TRICKS. what more do you need in a man?
5. after food business and sports, Micky P loves, LOVES beautiful women, to the point when he goes clubbing, he has hot russian girls just surrounding him and dancing for him and his friends.
6. He worked russian democracy to make him a buttload of cash, got busted by the french for pimpitude, was advised to sell for 10 billion dollars.seemingly 20 seconds later, the bottom fell out of the russian metal industry, leaving everyone but Micky P fucked. this proves without A doubt Micky P is at least psychic, which since all telekinetic people rule, is a sure sign Micky P is a badass.
due to the fact that the NBA is rigged and makes me sad, Micky P wasn't able to telekinetically remove david sterns nuts. However, Micky P is so badass its ridiculous, as I believe I have shown. in short, he's a giant russian man who works out a lot, is fuck you rich, enjoys women and good food, and could be an excellent bond villian. He is smart and awesome and I hope he reads this and decides to hire Me as nets official ball buster. your the man, Micky P, and I wish you and Jay-z nothing but luck. Oh right
reason 7: He hangs out with Jay-z, one of the baddest cats around. Jay-Z is such a badass, he actually makes me not want to run over Beyonce with a bulldozer, which is rather incredible. Oh beyonce has a non traditional body you say? I didn't know big breasts long legs and wide hips was non traditional, America! Jay-z, on the other hand, is a bad cat who can fly, victory: Jay.
reason 8: He's awesome.
wow you're gay
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