Now, you guys know Me, normally i'm not a political sort of fellow. I could give less of a fuck if rich asshole republican outdoes rich asshole democrat, because most of them are lawyers, and as I've said before, lawyers are the bane of society, just a bunch of awful, awful people who loathe anyone doing anything. Also, most people who know me know i am a laid back sort of guy, it takes quite a bit to get me feeling that awesome righteous anger over something that matters. you tell Me you like two and a half men better than community? sure, I'll yell at you, call you all sorts of vulgar names and want you left for dead in a puddle, but its not in the same community of hate as I have right now, and that is over this whole wisconsin teacher drama.
Now, if your not keeping up, I'll fill you in.
see this guy? his names Scott walker, he's the tea party (read: crazy person) governor of a not so little in the middle state called wisconsin, yes THAT wisconsin! the awkward fat kid of america, home of the packers, a college football thats as immune to passing as the people who live there are to healthy diets, and noted home of that 70's show. really, thats all wisconsin is. anyway, so last november, Scotty gets elected on a platform of "balancing the budget" so you figure "ok, no more crazy mayonaisse sex parties in wisconsin, cool". Scottyboy, however, had other ideas, he decided "hmmmmm, what group of people make too much money? Teachers! of course!" so he is proposing teachers take a salary cut and forfeit their right to collectively bargain.
In laymans terms, he wants to cut their funding and then take away their ability to ever ask for it back.
Now, I will fully admit, I am biased as SHIT on this issue. I'm a future teacher, who god willing, will teach in new jersey where the NJEA will protect me from death itself, I hear, at only the slight cost of my soul. weighing those two is easy, since the benefits far outweigh my soul loss. anyway, your average fox news pundit dickfister is saying "well the average teacher makes about 51 grand a year, plus 25 k in benefits, 76K for what amounts to half a years work? and they're done at 3 o clock? why pay them so much?"these people are naturally, some of the worst human beings on the face of the earth. you show Me a Teacher who is done working at 3 o clock and I'll show you a fucking shitty teacher. you got lesson planning, grading, copying, putting stuff online, e-mailing or calling parents, shit, a lot of them will even work in the after care programs so tommy's needledick parents can work till 6, never give two fucks about their kids, take all the credit when tommy does well, because they have passed on their successful dickbag genes to tommy, or blame the teacher because hell, YOU have him for 6+ hours a day, you dumb fuck, I'm a middle manager at assfister, cumgoblin and weinerslav incorperated, I could teach circles around you. well la dee da, captain butthole, I don't come to work and smack the dick out of your mouth, so why don't you kindly not come to my job and tell Me what to do?
but seriously, you think 75k a yea is too much for teachers, Mister Politcal pundit? you think giving teachers their money for you know, educating the future dickbag lawyers and poly-sci majors of the world, you think thats too much? well tell Me, mister super smart I know so much about politics glenn beck, How much do you make? you work an hour a day, well, 44 minutes plus commercials, to go on national tv and come off as charlie sheen levels of crazy, fortelling our inevitable demise because we aren't all awesome drug reformed mormon crazies like him. you get all the vacation you want, you get paid to be an asshole, how much you makin, glenny? you in your fancy suits and chalkboards, whats your chalk made of glenn? hmmm? is it gold? silver perhaps, maybe even diamonds? I mean, I'm not here to point out doom and destruction, I'm just a simple guy. so whats in it glenn? whats in your chalk thats so special? whats in it that you can't tell us about? you trying to hide the fact your chalk is comically expensive, I mean, I bet the wonder in glenns chalk is worth 1 million teachers salaries, and can teach just as many kids too! now I have no solid proof glenn beck steals his diamond chalk from the innocent and uses their blood to power his magic chalkboard, but he has yet to come out and refute it, so therefore, there is no proof either way.
anyway, back to teachers, just a little something for you to consider
"Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do - babysit!
We can get that for less than minimum wage.
That's right. Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan-- that equals 6 1/2 hours).
Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.
However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.
LET'S SEE....
That's $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).
What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour.
That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.
Wait a minute -- there's something wrong here! There sure is!
The average teacher's salary (nation wide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days= $277.77/per day/30 students=$9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student--a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!".
so yeah, think about that next time you say teachers don't do work and are lazy because we have no incentive. no one gets into teaching for the cash, you go into teaching because it is something you love. shit, I'm gonna be teaching elementary school for 40 years and be happier than a pig in shit, you know why? because I'll know I am impacting someones life every day, maybe they won't know it then, maybe they won't know it for 10 years, maybe they'll never even realize it, but I helped a child grow into an adult, and helped make sure that child would (hopefully) end up successful.
Yeah, I know this whole thing was kind of sappy and gay, but I'll be updating later this week with some f-18s and vatican assassin warlocks, thats right bitches, charlie sheen!
