Why Josh Homme is a god of music

well bitches, its been two weeks, so I bet you're wondering "Kwanzaa Gecko, you are so handsome, virile, Masculine, Wonderful, you have such a great beard, are there any Men who you consider your equal" of course, now pay me the 20 and I will go "who then?" fuck off I say. "Are there any men who you consider better than you?" and I am forced to admit that Yes, there ARE Men out there who do rule more than myself, however few they are, and thus this inspires my new series of blog posts:

CHAMPIONS, WINNERS AND VICTORIOUS ONES.

now, what is the difference between these 3? simple, level of win

Winner is the lowest one, anyone can be a winner for having the occasional success. The Boston Red Sox, Eli Manning, George W Bush and the guys who write 1 hit wonders can all fall into these categories

Champion is the middle category, someone who has a level of success but isn't in that pantheon of awesome. The Beatles, The Florida Marlins, Peyton Manning, Sandy koufax and Joe Biden are all champions.

finally, we have Victorious ones, or simply, Masters of Victory. These brave Men women and groups have pioneered success to be damn near an art. these People could own multiple lacrosse sticks, drive only jeeps, have the worlds biggest collection of flat brimmed hats, have created Energy drinks, use the word Bro and Brah, and only smell like axe body spray (the official scent of Douchebags everywhere!) and these people would still rock so hard your sexual organs would literally combust by coming near them. I will profile a person of one of these 3 ilks and tell you what they are and why they are it and today, readers, we start off with a doozy.

Our Ginger Lord and Savior of Rock Music: Joshua Motherfucking Homme, or Just Josh Homme

Heres Homme eyeing up your hot 19 year old sister, He is going to pillage her.

Now you may be asking "Kwanzaa gecko! He's a Ginger! He's barely a person" but that is were you are wrong. While yes, Ginger Men for the most part are about as sexy as herpes covered Genital warts, Josh Homme destroys this for one very very good reason: He's a viking. descending from Norway, the cradle of viking civilization, and coincidentally, the cradle of victory. a Viking mainly fed on pillage, rape and Plunder, making him among the first of these new breed of victory Master. Homme obviously descends from these awe inspiring murder masters, but instea do going and around and killing, Homme is arguably the best rocker alive, having formed the greatest band currently function on this planet and in any alternate universe, Queens of the Stone Age.

why does Queens of the stone age rock? Josh Home is in it, so theres that. 100 percent of their songs are about sex fighting and drinking/drugs, which is what real rock and roll is. and finally, they are freakishly talented, and easily the best band on earth. Homme is the straw that stirs the drink, He is a respectable Ginger Male (no easy task) giant, with a sex drive like a bull elephant in mating season, he is a badass in every way, his alternate name on his album? carlo von sexron. what.a.victory master. He described Queens upcoming album as "a desert orgy after dark" He wins so hard its ridiculous.

there, done, happy?