why America is the best country ever

“Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I’m not. I just feel that America’s the best country and all the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.”

Kenny Powers

that quote sums up american life better than anything maybe ever. are you American? you are? High five yourself. are you canadian? you are? stab yourself in the kidney then stab your birth parents kidney for not having the common decency to get in a car and have you in america. Canada I'm not sure is even its own country, I'm pretty sure they still are britains bitches. you know the only reason britain wins? thats right bitches, TITS!

who wants to see some british boobies? thats right, you do Motherfucker

Look at those! gods gift to Man! who doesn't want to deposit his nut butter there? if they made food in the shape of tits, who wouldn't eat it?

fantastits again, who isn't sporting a boner? I know I am

check out those! I am almost certain you need a permit to be that hot, you can kill old men just walking by (which is kickass, and i know you need a permit, I have one)

BAM! More british tits

anyway, back to america, why does america rule? 1. We have windividuals past and present, Like George Washington, who rode a dragon and killed british people and stole their hot women, Thomas Jefferson, who so epically pwned the french by fucking stealing Louisana by selling it for some ability to win (sadly the ship with win sank, and the french never got it, we kept Louisiana because everybody knows french people are walking living lose). Henry ford, who was so epic he invented the car, and built robot dinosaurs and personally ate the last of the dodos and also made zombies. Thomas Edison, who INVENTED MOTHERFUCKING ELECTRICITY, which is so win. oh, and we made the atom bomb, so suck that, Mexico!

People who complain about americas problems "you're power hungry" "you think you can police the world" "you don't have universal healthcare". these people obviously suck and are jealous of America for being the best motherfucking place on the face of the earth. if you are American and hate America, get the fuck out of MY america, you obviously are so lose you are too big a granola eating, environmentally sound assbandit that you probably just jerk off with fucking leaves and looking at pictures of Hippies, you say "Oh I have freedom of speech" I say "I have the freedom to beat the fuck out of you, its what Alexander Hamilton would've done" . Go live in Canada or drown yourselves, you cumgoblins.